Support Systems: Mentoring, Coaching, and Therapy, What Sets Them Apart

Coaching, therapy, and mentoring each fill a different gap for engineers who have burned out or are looking to level up. The author recounts a personal turning point after burnout, realizing that a coach who understands tech context could help set concrete next steps, something therapy could not provide because it focuses on past healing. Therapy restores emotional safety and helps you become your own caregiver, but it doesn't drive the forward-looking actions needed for a new role or product launch.

Coaching is presented as a forward-looking, goal-oriented partnership. A coach stretches thinking, challenges assumptions, and keeps the leader focused on actions that matter. The piece cites real moments when a simple coaching session helped the author spot a debugging issue he had been wrestling with, turning a vague problem into a clear solution. This forward momentum compounds, turning small experiments into lasting career progress.

Mentoring, the most common support in tech, is described as learning from someone's lived experience. It offers advice and insights based on the mentor's journey, often blending coaching techniques but still anchored in the mentor's specific context. The author emphasizes that mentors are especially valuable for early-career engineers needing guidance on navigating technical and organizational challenges.

The core argument is that technical leaders need to match the support type to the problem: therapy for emotional recovery, coaching for goal-driven growth, and mentoring for experiential learning. By consciously choosing the right support, leaders can reduce burnout, accelerate career development, and make better decisions about their next steps.