Effective coaching hinges on asking the right questions, not giving advice; managers influence perception and reality more through inquiry than correction.
Coaching works when you help people see their own reality, not when you prescribe actions. The piece argues that a manager's biggest impact is getting a team member in touch with how they perceive circumstances, intention, performance, and outcome. Questions do the heavy lifting; advice is marginal.
In the dialogue, Manuel compares untied shoes to negative feedback. The narrator points out that while tying shoes prevents a fall, it doesn't make you a high performer. The conversation shifts to internal feedback signals-endorphins in flow and a knotty stomach in struggle-and shows that a leader's role is to surface those signals through probing questions.
For technical leaders, the takeaway is simple: stop filling the conversation with directives and start asking calibrated questions that surface perception. When you help a direct report articulate what they see, you build ownership and align reality with action, leading to higher performance and clearer communication.
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