Look for what's true

When you get harsh feedback, the first instinct is to dismiss it as wrong and protect your ego. The article flips that instinct: search for the small piece of truth in the criticism. That kernel lets you step back from the emotional surge and see the comment more clearly.

The author recounts a moment when a principal engineer called him out for being overly negative in a meeting. He felt attacked, drafted a rebuttal email, and then Googled how to respond to negative feedback. The advice he found-look for what's true-gave him a concrete way to defuse his anger and consider the feedback objectively.

By acknowledging the valid part of the criticism, the author was able to lower his defensiveness, extract actionable insight, and move forward without lingering resentment. The trick works as a mental reset: you stop hunting for every flaw in the feedback and instead focus on the useful signal.

The same approach applies beyond formal reviews. When you encounter an outrageous social-media post, asking if there's any kernel of truth can pull you out of a knee-jerk reaction and engage a more reasoned response.

Technical leaders benefit because they constantly receive feedback-from peers, reports, and stakeholders. Using this simple reframing technique keeps conversations productive, preserves morale, and builds a culture where criticism leads to growth rather than conflict.