Curiosity and Self-Aware Conflict

Good conflict is a trust-building tool, not a flaw. Marion Løken argues that when teams focus on topics, prioritize collective success, address issues quickly, and stay solution-oriented, conflict becomes a metric of psychological safety. By treating curiosity as a muscle, leaders can shift debates from being right to finding common ground, turning tension into collaboration.

Løken recommends a simple habit: practice curiosity in low-stakes situations, then scale up. A fair process that amplifies every voice and makes decisions collective prevents the escalation of personal attacks. When a conflict surfaces, pause, notice your own emotional reaction, and ask how you would act if the other person were a trusted colleague. This self-awareness stops regrettable statements and keeps the focus on the problem.

She also warns that too little conflict signals groupthink while too much indicates unclear roles. Teams can gauge health by the variety of topics that surface in retrospectives. Leaders at any level-tech lead, product manager, senior developer-must model the right balance, reinforcing a culture where disagreement is safe and constructive.